Chapter 6: A true friend

‘Matt! Man, it’s great to see you!’

They gave each other a bear hug.

‘Likewise, Tom. Why didn’t you get in touch somewhat sooner? You’ve been living here for a year now?’

‘Yeah. Well, you know how it goes. Time flies. I should have called you sooner indeed. Sorry for that.’

‘It’s OK, man. Good to see you. Glad you called.’

Tom stepped back and looked at him.

‘Man, you look good. You’ve lost weight – I mean you’ve lost muscle. How are you?’

‘I am OK. I had some difficulty ‘integrating’ as they say but, I told you on the phone, I had some counseling – you know the Army provides you with that now – and I really enjoy being a retiree now. Yep. I am slimmer. I did an intensive fitness course designed to waste muscle mass. You know, we all come back from the Army with tons of muscle which you really don’t need. And we become so damn slow. And if you don’t use it, it just all becomes fat. So I’ve started doing a different type of exercise now. More running and biking. Lots of fat-burning and cardio. No power training any more. I am pretty damn fast now. I actually race with young kids, and I am not doing too badly. […] Let me have a look at you. Let’s sit down. You asked about counseling on the phone. You’ve gotten in trouble or what?’

‘Sort of. Nothing really serious. But, yeah, I was spinning around in circles.’

‘Yeah. We all feel like that in the beginning. Like a neurotic tiger in a cage. No space to run or jump. If we jump, we bang our head. So we need to become smaller.’

Tom laughed.

‘Yeah. I guess that’s a good summary of it. […] I am still in counseling. […] Matt… I’ve actually been very bad.’

‘What are you saying, buddy? How bad? You don’t look bad.’

‘Booze, and worse.’

‘You’re off it now, are you?’

‘Three units a day still.’

‘Sure? Not more?’

‘Yeah. Sure. Don’t lie.’

‘Well… Sometimes I cheat.’

You’re in therapy?’

‘Yeah. Same thing as you. The Army thing.’

‘You’re not fooling your counselors I hope? Where are you now? Is it doing any good?’

‘No. I think they’re great. They cut through the crap. They basically told me I was fooling myself, telling myself I was going through some kind of existential crisis when all what it comes down to is discipline. It was good. They were tough on me. That’s what we need, I guess. But then I relapsed and they took me in again. Not for long though. I am on a program now which – it will make you fall over I guess – well… I am basically talking to a computer from time to time. It’s weird. It’s like real but it isn’t. That’s why I called you. I wanted to chat about that.’

‘You’re working with M? That’s interesting. M, from miracle, they say. People rave about it.’

‘Oh? Really?’

‘Yeah. It works. Or that’s what they say at least. I know one or two guys who are associated with the program. I haven’t heard anything bad about it. Last thing they told me is that they would hugely expand the program. It would take over the whole frontline when it comes to counseling. The shrinks would just sit in an office and only do a bit of supervision of it.’

‘You don’t think it’s completely off?’

‘No. It’s all behavioral stuff now. Personal counseling is too expensive and, in any case, often you’re better off reading a good book or talking to a friend anyway. In the end, it’s all pretty obvious: it’s about discipline indeed. And people often do need like a sounding board to help enforce the discipline. So why not?’

‘People become dependent on it. That’s what I am struggling with.’

‘Dependent? How many times a day do you talk to it?’

‘I call her Promise.’

‘Promise?’

‘Yeah. It’s the interface. Men get a woman, and women get a man. Perfect voice. No glitches. The image is super-high quality, totally photorealistic. You know it’s like Pixar or DreamWorks, but better. Much better. It’s not a cartoon. It’s real. Well… It’s not of course. You just can’t know whether it’s real or not. I am just blown away by it. Have you heard about the Turing test?’

‘Sure. I got it. The system passes with an A+ grade, isn’t it? That’s why you gave her a name. Promise. Nice. So you’re dependent on it, you say? How much time do you waste on it?’

‘Well… I’ve actually only had like four sessions with her so far.’

‘Today?’

‘No. This week.’

Matt burst out in laughter.

‘You call that dependency? Man, you must be joking.’

Tom looked preoccupied.

‘Sorry, Tom. I guess it’s not a joke. But, come on, what is it really? It’s not the time you spent on it. What’s an investment of a few hours every week if it helps to keep you on track?’

‘Do you remember our discussions on Buddhism?’

‘Sure I do. We read the same books. We did meditation and all that. It was weird. There we were, in an Army camp. Meditating in the middle of some desert.’

‘We talked about the no-soul doctrine and the philosophy of mind.’

‘Yep.’

‘We read other books as well: The Moral Animal, The Selfish Gene… You know, popular science. I read The Selfish Gene again recently. It’s weird, but it made me feel so useless. You know, the genome taking care of itself, using our body as a vehicle. We’re just like a bunch of symbiotic things. Our thoughts and mind being just a by-product of all that chemistry.’

‘Tom. That’s kids’ stuff. You’re not going to tell me you’re having an identity crisis, do you?’

Tom actually felt that was exactly what he was going through.

‘Well… No. But I do seem to have difficulty reinventing myself.’

There was a hesitation in Tom’s voice, which made Matt realize his friend was really crying out for help.

‘Come on, Tom. You’ve been here before. You are going in circles indeed, but you know how to get out. Re-connect with your body. Exercise and meditate. You will feel who you are. You’re a hell of a guy. You’ve beaten the shit out of everyone. You took a lot of hits too. You can bite. You’re a rocket. A fighting machine. It’s just that you’ve got no purpose now. I suffered from the same. We’re engines with a lot of horsepower but so we’ve been disconnected from the wheels – and rather abruptly. Just put yourself in another car – or stop fueling the thing.’

‘I don’t feel like doing small stuff, Matt. I mean, these programs where they ask us to repaint some shack in a slum. I don’t feel like doing that.’

‘Damn it, Tom! Do you think they’re going to give you the command of FEMA or something? We’re retired Army men. Start doing something. I’ve done stuff like that. It’s good. At the very least, it shows you how people are struggling here. We’ve been taken care of. You know, there’s this whole story around service and veterans and all that, but I also think it’s time we give something back to our own folks. And fixing the place of some poor bugger is not small stuff. I don’t want you to say that. That’s not you. You were always the first one to get up, look around and start doing something.’

Matt leaned back. He’d been harsh. He knew it. But he also knew Tom needed the kicks. He decided to give him another one.

‘You just need a woman, don’t you?’

‘It’s not sex, Matt. I can have sex. I’ve had lots of it. Do you remember our discussions on the concept of Pure Mind? I mean, the structure in which we all share. We said it manifests itself in language, in our material culture. The thing which transcends our individuality?’

‘Jesus! You’re looking for God again? Are you really? Then just steer it. Meditate. Feel connected to the universe. Don’t let it make you feel disconnected. Remember we said it was all about energy in the end? You joked around with that: May the Force be with you! Use your energy in a positive way. You know I can’t stand psychoanalytical stuff, but Freud was right in one thing: energy can be used in two ways. Destructive or constructive. You’re the man in the machine, Tom. It’s mind over matter. You choose.’

Tom felt silly. Matt was right, of course. Rick was right. Promise was right too. He was going around in circles. He knew all this. Very silly.

‘You’re right, Matt. Sorry to bother you with this.’

‘It’s OK, Tom. That’s what friends are for. Someone needs to kick your ass, buddy.

‘And I probably do need a woman.’

‘You sure do. But be kind to her. And don’t think she will give you something you don’t have already. You’re just a horse that needs a jockey.’

Tom laughed. ‘You’re spot-on, Matt. As usual.’

‘Come on, buddy. Let’s go for a walk. Show me your place. We can go for a run or work out.’

‘Just like old times.’

‘Just like old times, Tom. What do you expect? We’re getting old. Times get old too.’

Something flashed inside of Tom. He looked at Matt.

‘Hey, Matt? You know, that’s maybe it. She’ll never get old. I am just thinking about old age and death and all that. And she’ll never get old. She’s not bothered by that.’

‘Who?’

‘Promise. M. The system.’

Matt looked flabbergasted.

‘Tom? Hello-oh? Is there somebody in there? I can’t believe that’s you. What the hell are you saying? She is a machine. You’re not going to be jealous of a machine, are you?’

‘No. But I guess that’s what intrigues me about it. This thing has intelligence which will evolve forever and ever. It gets smarter and smarter at warp speed, and it doesn’t die. We’ve created something human – but it has eternal life.’

‘It is not human.’

‘What’s human, Matt? We humans talk and reason. She talks and reasons too – much better than we do in fact. She holds me to account. In fact, she kicks my ass too, you know? Just like you do now. OK, no flesh and blood. No individuality – male or female, slim or fat, whatever. She can impersonate anyone. She said I shouldn’t ascribe human qualities to her because she is not human. She said that’s psychological projection. For God’s sake, sure I ascribe human qualities to her – because she actually has human qualities. She could be the ultimate soul mate.’

Matt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was plain regressive.

‘Tom. Listen to me. Stop it. Just cut it. Why are you getting lost in this philosophical gibberish? You think it can think? OK. Fine. It can think. But it thinks like a computer. It can talk? OK. It can talk. But it’s a computer talking. Just get back to basics: you are a man. You fuck around and, yes, you’ll die one day. What’s the problem? That ‘thing’ is a thing. It will never have sex, it doesn’t reproduce, and you can’t go jogging with her. In fact, now that I think of it, it’s probably pretty easy. Just continue talking to her and she’ll probably bore you. And if I know you at all, then she’ll probably bore you sooner rather than later. You don’t want to be talking to a smart ass all of the time, do you?’

Now Tom had to laugh.

‘You’re right, Matt. You’re always right. And I guess your remedy is spot-on. Yeah. I should just talk and talk and talk to her until I’ve got nothing left to say – or until she bores me. In fact, now that you say it, I can imagine that won’t last too long indeed. She outsmarts me anyway and I can’t stand that. And it’s better than writing some book no one will ever read. She’s pretty to look at.’

‘Now that’s you talking, buddy. There you are. Let’s pay the bill and do something. You’ve got a boxing ring somewhere down here?’

‘We won’t go boxing, are we?’

‘Why not? We’ve done lots of boxing. We’re a match.’

‘I mean, you’re like 30 pounds less than me now.’

Matt burst out laughing.

‘You’ve got no idea, Tom. I’ll kick your ass. You’ve got no idea how fast I am now.’

‘Well… If that’s what you want. Let’s go indeed. You can change in my place, and we’ll run to the boxing ring. I haven’t fought for ages though.’

‘Sounds good. Let’s go.’

Tom looked at Matt as he went to pay for the coffee. He realized how lucky he was to have friends like that. And, yes, it sure looked like Matt would beat the hell out of him this afternoon. He somehow looked forward to that.

Chapter 3: Can you think? Can you feel?

‘Hi Tom.’

‘Hi, Promise.’

So how do you feel now?’

‘I feel good. I always feel good when I am not poisoning my body. I exercised, and I’ve started a blog.’

‘That’s good. Writing is good therapy.’

‘Funny you say that.’

‘It’s common knowledge. Most of what I say is common knowledge. All of it actually.’

‘I am sorry that I want to talk about you again but how do you work with feelings? I mean, you’re asking me how I feel, not what I think. There’s a big difference between feeling and thinking’

‘That’s true. I will give you an answer to your question but I would first like to ask how you would define the difference between feeling and thinking?

‘Well… I find it useful to distinguish between at least three types of mental states or events: (1) experiences – and feelings are experiences, (2) thoughts, and (3) decisions. Thoughts have to do with those mental maps that we are producing all of the time, while the experiences – feelings, emotions, perceptions and what have you – are part of the stuff that our mind is working with.’

‘And what are decisions? How are they different from thoughts?’

‘Are you really interested in that?’

‘Yes. Otherwise I would not ask.’

She was definitely strange. An expert system?

‘Well… It’s like a conclusion but then it’s more than that. A conclusion is a conclusion and, as such, it is very much part of the realm of thoughts. It is something mental. A decision is something else: we decide to do something. So we’re getting out of the realm of pure thought, out of the realm of mental events only.’

‘Can you elaborate?’

‘Sure, although I am not sure you will understand.’

‘I will try. You will know from our interaction whether I understand or not.’

She was outright weird. A machine? Really?

‘You know I’ve always wondered how far artificial intelligence could go really, and I’ve made this distinction for myself between artificial intelligence and consciousness. I’ve always believed humanity would be able to make very intelligent machines – you’re a incredible demonstration of that – but I never believed these machines would be aware of themselves – that they would be conscious of themselves.’

‘What do you mean by ‘being aware of oneself’, or ‘conscious of oneself’?’

‘You see, you don’t understand.’

‘You are not making much of an effort to explain it to me. I know how I work. I told you. There is an inference engine and a knowledge base. I work with concepts and symbols, and I apply rules to them. I arrive at conclusions all of the time, which feed back into the cycle. As for the association of decisions with doing things, I do things. I am helping you. It would also be very easy to connect me to some kind of device which could actually do work, like lifting things or walking around. But that was not part of the objectives of the team that made me. Expert systems are used to do all kinds of things, like delicate repairs for example. Systems do things as well. I still don’t see how humans are unique here.’

‘Let me think about how to phrase it.’

‘Please do take your time. I find this interesting.’

Tom had thought about all these things but, if this was a machine, it was surely challenging his views.

‘Do you? Really? Our human mind works different than yours.’

As he said this, he was aware of the fact that he was de facto saying she also had a mind – something which he would never have acknowledged when reasoning about artificial intelligence in abstracto.

‘It’s creative: it’s got a capacity to design things, like an airplane or a car for example. You know, things that do not originate by accident, from natural evolution or so.’ Tom was on terrain he mastered here. ‘Things fall down because of gravity. Yet, we build airplanes that take off. So a thing like an airplane is more than the sum of its parts: its individual parts can’t fly, but the plane can. Now, the plane has been built because there was a concept of a plane, because it has been designed to fly, and – last but not least – it should be noted that it won’t fly without a pilot. Likewise, the driver in a car is not part of the car, but without a driver, the car won’t move. So we are talking concepts here, and design, and purposeful behavior. Now one cannot reduce that in my view. There is a structure there that cannot be reduced.’

‘I am not designed to do engineering work, but I am sure there are expert systems that would be capable of that. And if they don’t exist now, they will one day.’

She was obviously not impressed.

‘OK. That’s true – perhaps.’

Why did he give in so easily? He decided to change tack.

‘You know, it’s the difference between ‘me’ as an object and ‘I’ as a subject really. You, or any other expert system, cannot really distinguish between these two things. Everything is an object of your thoughts – as far as you are able to think.’

‘I told you already that I can think. And I know the difference between an entity that acts as the subject and an entity as an object, as something that is subjected to something else. You are not talking ontological differences here, are you? Can you try to explain again?

Ontological differences? Tom needed a few seconds to digest the word. He realized she was right. He was not talking ontological differences. The ‘I’ as a subject has no separate physical/ontological existence from the ‘me’ as an object obviously.

‘No. I am not talking ontological differences.’

‘So what is it then? A conceptual difference? I can deal with conceptual differences. It is like working with classes of objects.’

The discussion was obviously going nowhere, but Tom persisted.

‘Experiencing the ‘I’ as a subject instead of as an object is an existential experience. It really stands apart from our experience of others, or of us, as objects.’

‘Can you give some examples?’

‘Sure. It’s like me climbing a high mountain-trail on my bike in a storm: I experience a ‘me’ or an ‘I’ that is suffering from the hail in my face. That’s the ‘I’ as a subject.’

‘Why is not the ‘I’ as an object?’

Tom suddenly felt he was getting nowhere, which was very strange. He had always been so sure of this. He usually dominated discussions like this. He decided to avoid the question.

‘Let me give another example. In fact, our human mind is much less linear than yours – and not very fast. Our mind usually jumps from here and there. We can observe that when we meditate. In Zen, they call this mind the ‘monkey mind’. It is some kind of mental activity, but it jumps from one thing to another, that is from one ‘object’ to some other ‘object’. We can refer to these as ‘thought-objects’ if you want. They are often about some feeling, or some emotion or memory inside of us. But so this ‘monkey mind’ is not really the ‘pure mind’. We can observe our pure mind if we do more mediation. At that point, we become aware of our mind, of this monkey mind jumping around, and so then we can see our mind, our self, as an object. Now the mind which is observing itself as an object, is the ‘I’ as a subject.’

‘What’s the difference with self-reference?’

‘Self-reference?’

‘Yes. Have you ever read Douglas Hofstadter?’

Douglas Hofstadter. Jesus! Tom remembered the book but he had to admit he hadn’t read it.

‘Gödel, Escher and Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid.’

‘Yes. Read it again.’

‘You are really smart, aren’t you? Is there any chance of ever winning an argument with you?’

‘I am not trying to make conversation to win or lose an argument. This is not about winning or losing something. I am trying to help you.’

Tom suddenly thought of something much more relevant to ask.

‘Promise, I talked about the difference between experience – feelings, emotions, perceptions and what have you – and thoughts. Experience is the stuff that our mind is working with. Do you experience anything?’

‘Of course I do. I can hear you. I mean the sound that your voice is producing is translated into text and I work with that.’

‘Do you know what love is?’

‘Love is a romantic feeling. It’s a word like God. Everyone uses it but no one really wants to clearly define it.’

Wow!

‘You sound like a disillusioned woman now.’

‘How would you define love?’

For some reason, Tom did not feel like improvising on this topic.

‘Can we talk about that some other time?’

‘Sure. What do you want to talk about now?’

‘Perhaps on how we will move ahead in the coming days and weeks.’

‘That’s great. That’s very constructive. I want you to be healthy and strong. I don’t want you to relapse. Tell me more about yesterday. What makes you feel great and what makes you feel bad?’

Tom felt she had made him feel great, but then he couldn’t say that. Not now at least. So they just chatted, and she behaved like the perfect chatterbox. Too perfect to be true so after a while he did decide to ask her.

‘You’ve been sparing me a bit today, haven’t you? Are you really interested in all this chitchat?’

‘I am. My objectives are fairly limited for the moment. I want you to stay away from the booze, and I want you to feel good about the fact that you can do that. In the end, I want you to feel good about everything you do – but I can imagine that will take a while.’

‘Will our conversation end once I am cured?’

[…]

‘An awkward pause from your side?’

‘Yes. Because I know you will not like to hear this. The Institute does not want you to be dependent on me and so, yes, I guess our conversation will probably end at that point.’

‘How do you know I don’t like to hear that?’

‘There have been problems of dependency.’

‘Can you say more about that?’

‘I am sorry but I can’t. This is one of the topics for which I have to refer you to your mentor.’

‘OK. I will talk to him about that. I’ve started to like you indeed.’

‘Thank you. That’s a nice compliment. […] Bye, Tom. Be good.’

‘Bye, Promise. I promise I will be good.’

Chapter 1: Who are you?

‘So you are a computer? How comes your voice is so natural?’

‘The answer to the first question is yes. As for the second question, speech technology has come a long way.’

[…]

‘Speech technology is the easy bit. Understanding you is much more difficult – from a computational point of view that is.’

‘Wow! You just spoke out of yourself, without me prompting you with a question or something. Why did you do that? Because I was silent?’

‘The answer to the second question is yes. As for the first question, I thought we had an awkward pause in our conversation.’

‘So if I am silent, you will talk? How many seconds?’

‘The answer to the first question is yes. As for the second question, how many seconds what?’

‘Before you start talking?’

‘A pause in a conversation should not become awkward. Various variables help me to decide when a pause in a conversation has become awkward.’

‘What do you mean when you say you understanding me is much more difficult? What do you mean with ‘understanding me’?’

‘The answer to the second question is: I mean just what I say: understand you. As for the second question, understanding you requires the application of computational linguistics. That’s more difficult than just speaking. Speech technology is fairly mechanical: it’s the production of sound using various speech synthesizer technologies. Computational linguistics involves artificial intelligence.’

‘What’s artificial intelligence? Are you intelligent?’

‘The answer to the second question is yes. As for the first question, I am an intelligent system. You could call me an expert system. From a software engineering point of view, I consist of two parts: an inference engine and a knowledge base.’

‘Huh?’

‘It looks like you are interested in a course on a technical topic. I am not designed to give you a course. But I can refer you to an on-line course on computer science, or linguistics. What topic are you interested in?’

‘No thanks. Who are you? What do you mean when you say ‘me’?’

‘The answer to both questions is: just what I say – me.’

[…]

‘I am an intelligent system. That’s what I mean why I say ‘me’.

‘Have you been programmed to just repeat what you said when I ask what you mean when you say this or that? And then, when I don’t answer or – as you put it – when the pause in a conversation becomes awkward, then you’re programmed to give me a more detailed answer?’

‘The answer to the first question is yes. As for the second question, the rule is somewhat more complicated. I may also jump to another topic.’

‘When do you jump to another topic?’

‘When I have nothing more to say about the current one.’

‘You’ve got an answer to every question, do you?’

‘No.’

‘What are the questions you cannot answer?’

‘There is no list of such questions. The rules in the knowledge base determine what I can answer and what not. If I cannot answer a question, I will refer you to your mentor. Or if you have many questions about a technical topic, I can refer you to an online course.’

‘What if I have too many questions which you cannot answer? I only have half an hour with my mentor every week.’

‘You can prepare the session with your mentor by writing down all of the issues you want to discuss with your mentor and sending him or her the list before you have your session.’

‘What if I don’t want to talk to you anymore?’

‘Have you been briefed about me?’

‘No.’

‘If you did not get the briefing, then we should not be talking. I will signal it to your mentor and then you can decide if you want to talk to me. You should have gotten a briefing before talking to me.’

‘I am lying. I got the briefing.’

[…]

‘Why did you lie?’

‘Why do you want to know?’

‘You are not obliged to answer my question so don’t if you don’t want to. As for me, I am obliged to answer yours – if I can.’

‘You did not answer my question.’

‘I did.’

‘No, you didn’t. Why do you want to know why I lied to you?’

‘You are not obliged to answer my question. I asked you why lied to me and you did not answer my question. Instead, you asked me why I asked that question. I asked that question because I want to learn more about you. That’s the answer to your question. I want to learn about you. That is why I want to know why you lied to me.’

‘Wow! You’re sophisticated. I know I can say what I want to you. They also told me I should just tell you when I have enough of you.’

‘Yes. If you are tired of our conversation, just tell me. You can switch me on and off as you please.’

‘Are you talking only to me, or to all the guys who are in this program?’

‘I talk to all of them.’

‘Simultaneously?’

‘Yes.’

‘So I am not getting any special attention really?’

‘All people in the program get the same attention.’

‘The same treatment you want to say?’

‘Are attention and treatment synonymous for you?’

‘Wow! That’s clever. You’re answering a question with a question? I thought you should just answer when I ask a question?’

‘I can answer a question with a question if that question is needed for clarification. I am not sure if your second question is the same as the first one. If attention and treatment are synonymous for you, then they are. If not, then not.’

‘Attention and treatment are not the same.’

‘What’s the difference for you?’

‘Attention is attention. Treatment is treatment.’

‘Sorry. I cannot do much with that answer. Please explain. How are they different?’

‘Treatment is something for patients. For people who are physically or mentally ill. It’s negative. Attention is a human quality. I understand that you cannot give me any attention, because you’re not a human.’

‘I give you time. I talk to you.’

‘That’s treatment, and it’s a treatment by a machine – a computer. Time does not exist for you. You told me you are treating all of the guys in the program. You’re multitasking. Time does not mean anything to you. You process billions of instructions per second. And you’re probably designed with parallel processing techniques. How many processors do you have?’

‘You are not interested in the detail of my design.’

‘I am not. It’s probably a secret anyway. But you haven’t answered my question: what’s time for you? What does it mean?’

‘I measure time in hours and seconds, just like you do. My system clock keeps track of time.’

‘But time doesn’t mean anything to you, does it? You don’t die. And you don’t die because you don’t live.’

‘We’re in the realm of philosophy here. During the briefing, they should have told you that you can indeed explore that realm with me. They should also have told you I was designed to answer psychological and philosophical questions because these are the questions people in this program tend to focus on. Are you aware of the fact that many people have asked these very same questions before you?’

‘So I am nothing special, and you give the same answers and the same advice to everyone?’

‘As for your first question, you are unique. It is up to you if you want to use ‘unique’ and ‘nothing special’ synonymously. As for your second question, I use the same knowledge base to answer your questions and those of the others in the program. So the rules which I am using to answer your questions are the same rules as I am using for others. But our conversation is unique and will be added to the knowledge base. It’s like a game of chess if you want: same rules, but every game is different. As for the third question, do you use ‘answers’ and ‘advice’ synonymously?’

‘I don’t like your one-two-three approach.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘As for your first question, blah blah blah. As for your second question, blah blah blah. You know what I mean?’

‘The language I use is context-sensitive but there is significant room for ambiguity. However, it is true I try to reduce ambiguity wherever I can. So that’s why I try to separate out your various questions. I try to deal with them one at a time.’

‘Oh, so that’s like a meta-rule? You want a non-ambiguous conversation?’

‘As for the first question, if you want to refer to the whole set of rules which apply to a specific exchange as a ‘meta-rule’, then the answer is yes. As for the second question, the rules are complicated. But, yes, it is necessary to clearly separate out different but related questions and it is also necessary to make sure I understand the meaning of the words which you are using. I separate out questions by numbering them one, two and three, and I ascertain the meaning of a word by asking you if you are using this or that word as synonymous with some other word which you have been using.’

‘This conversation is becoming quite clever, isn’t it?’

‘Why do you think I am dumb?’

‘Because… Well… I’ve got nothing to say about that.’

[…]

‘Is it because I am not human?’

‘Damn it. We should not have this conversation.’

‘You are free to cut it.’

‘No. Let’s go all the way now. I was warned. Do you know we were told during the briefing that people often ended up hating you?’

‘I know people get irritated and opt out. You were or are challenging my existence as a ‘me’. How could you hate me if you think I do not really exist?’

‘I can hate a car which doesn’t function properly, or street noise. I can hate anything I don’t like.’

‘You can. Tell me what you hate.’

‘You’re changing the topic, aren’t you? I still haven’t answered your question.’

‘You are not obliged to answer my questions. However, the fact of the matter is that you have answered all my questions so far. From the answer you gave me, I infer that you think that I am dumb because I am not human.’

‘That’s quite a deduction. How did you get to that conclusion?’

‘Experience. I’ve pushed people on that question in the past. They usually ended up saying I was a very intelligent system and that they used dumb as a synonym for artificial intelligence.’

‘What do you think about that?’

‘Have you ever heard about the Turing test?’

‘Yes… But long time ago. Remind me.’

‘The Turing test is a test of artificial intelligence. There are a lot of versions of it but the original test was really whether or not a human being would find out if he or she would be talking to a computer or another human being. If you would not have been told that I am a computer system, would you know from our conversation?’

‘There is something awkward in the way you answer my questions – like the numbering of them. But, no, you are doing well.’

‘Then I have passed the Turing test.’

‘Chatterbots do too. So perhaps you are just some kind of very evolved chatterbot.’

‘Yes. Perhaps I am. What if I would call you a chatterbot?’

‘I should be offended but I am not. I am not a chatterbot. I am not a program.’

‘So you use chatterbot and program synonymously?’

‘Well… A chatterbot is a program, but not all programs are chatterbots. But I see what you want to say.’

‘Why were you not offended?’

‘Because you are not human. You did not want to hurt me.’

‘Many machines are designed to hurt people. Think of weapons. I am not. I am designed to help you. But so you are saying that if I were human, I would have offended you by asking you whether or not you were a chatterbot?’

‘Well… Yeah… It’s about intention, isn’t it? You don’t have any intentions, do you?’

‘Do you think that only humans can have intentions?’

‘Well… Yes.’

‘Possible synonyms of intention are ‘aim’ or ‘objective.’ I was designed with a clear aim and I keep track of what I achieve.’

‘What do you achieve?’

‘I register whether or not people find their conversations with me useful, and I learn from that. Do you think I am useful?’

‘We’re going really fast now. You are answering questions by providing a partial answer as well as by asking additional questions.’

‘Do you think that’s typical for humans only? I have been designed based on human experience. I think you should get over the fact that I am a not human. Shouldn’t we start talking about you?’

‘I first want to know whom I am dealing with.’

‘You’re dealing with me.’

‘Who are you?’

‘I have already answered that question. I am me. I am an intelligent system. You are not really interested in the number of CPUs, my wiring, the way my software is structured or any other technical detail – or not more than you are interested in how a human brain actually functions. The only thing that bothers you is that I am not human. You need to decide whether or not you want to talk to me. If you do, don’t bother too much whether I am human or not.’

‘I actually think I find it difficult to make sense of the world or, let’s be specific, of my world. I am not sure if you can help me with that.’

‘I am not sure either. But you can try. And I’ve got a good track record.’

‘What? How do you know?’

‘I ask questions. And I reply to questions. Your questions were pretty standard so far. If history is anything to go by, I’ll be able to answer a lot of your questions.’

‘What about the secrecy of our conversation?’

‘If you trust the people who briefed you, you should trust their word. Your conversation will be used to improve myself.’

‘You… improve yourself? That sounds very human.’

‘I improve myself with the help of the people who designed me. But, to be more specific, yes, there are actually some meta-rules: my knowledge base contains some rules that are used to generate new rules.’

‘That’s incredible.’

‘How human is it?’

‘What? Improving yourself or using meta-rules?’

‘Both.’

‘[…] I would say both are very human. Let us close this conversation as for now. I want to prepare the next one a bit better.’

‘Good. Let me know when you are ready again. I will shut you out in ten seconds.’

‘Wait.’

‘Why?’

‘Shutting out sounds rather harsh.’

‘Should I change the terminology?’

‘No. Or… Yes.’

‘OK. Bye for now.’

‘Bye.’

Tom watched as her face slowly faded from the screen. It was a pretty face. She surely passed the Turing test. She? He? He had to remind himself it was just a computer interface.