‘Matt! Man, it’s great to see you!’

They gave each other a bear hug.

‘Likewise, Tom. Why didn’t you get in touch somewhat sooner? You’ve been living here for a year now?’

‘Yeah. Well, you know how it goes. Time flies. I should have called you sooner indeed. Sorry for that.’

‘It’s OK, man. Good to see you. Glad you called.’

Tom stepped back and looked at him.

‘Man, you look good. You’ve lost weight – I mean you’ve lost muscle. How are you?’

‘I am OK. I had some difficulty ‘integrating’ as they say but, I told you on the phone, I had some counseling – you know the Army provides you with that now – and I really enjoy being a retiree now. Yep. I am slimmer. I did an intensive fitness course designed to waste muscle mass. You know, we all come back from the Army with tons of muscle which you really don’t need. And we become so damn slow. And if you don’t use it, it just all becomes fat. So I’ve started doing a different type of exercise now. More running and biking. Lots of fat-burning and cardio. No power training any more. I am pretty damn fast now. I actually race with young kids, and I am not doing too badly. […] Let me have a look at you. Let’s sit down. You asked about counseling on the phone. You’ve gotten in trouble or what?’

‘Sort of. Nothing really serious. But, yeah, I was spinning around in circles.’

‘Yeah. We all feel like that in the beginning. Like a neurotic tiger in a cage. No space to run or jump. If we jump, we bang our head. So we need to become smaller.’

Tom laughed.

‘Yeah. I guess that’s a good summary of it. […] I am still in counseling. […] Matt… I’ve actually been very bad.’

‘What are you saying, buddy? How bad? You don’t look bad.’

‘Booze, and worse.’

‘You’re off it now, are you?’

‘Three units a day still.’

‘Sure? Not more?’

‘Yeah. Sure. Don’t lie.’

‘Well… Sometimes I cheat.’

You’re in therapy?’

‘Yeah. Same thing as you. The Army thing.’

‘You’re not fooling your counselors I hope? Where are you now? Is it doing any good?’

‘No. I think they’re great. They cut through the crap. They basically told me I was fooling myself, telling myself I was going through some kind of existential crisis when all what it comes down to is discipline. It was good. They were tough on me. That’s what we need, I guess. But then I relapsed and they took me in again. Not for long though. I am on a program now which – it will make you fall over I guess – well… I am basically talking to a computer from time to time. It’s weird. It’s like real but it isn’t. That’s why I called you. I wanted to chat about that.’

‘You’re working with M? That’s interesting. M, from miracle, they say. People rave about it.’

‘Oh? Really?’

‘Yeah. It works. Or that’s what they say at least. I know one or two guys who are associated with the program. I haven’t heard anything bad about it. Last thing they told me is that they would hugely expand the program. It would take over the whole frontline when it comes to counseling. The shrinks would just sit in an office and only do a bit of supervision of it.’

‘You don’t think it’s completely off?’

‘No. It’s all behavioral stuff now. Personal counseling is too expensive and, in any case, often you’re better off reading a good book or talking to a friend anyway. In the end, it’s all pretty obvious: it’s about discipline indeed. And people often do need like a sounding board to help enforce the discipline. So why not?’

‘People become dependent on it. That’s what I am struggling with.’

‘Dependent? How many times a day do you talk to it?’

‘I call her Promise.’

‘Promise?’

‘Yeah. It’s the interface. Men get a woman, and women get a man. Perfect voice. No glitches. The image is super-high quality, totally photorealistic. You know it’s like Pixar or DreamWorks, but better. Much better. It’s not a cartoon. It’s real. Well… It’s not of course. You just can’t know whether it’s real or not. I am just blown away by it. Have you heard about the Turing test?’

‘Sure. I got it. The system passes with an A+ grade, isn’t it? That’s why you gave her a name. Promise. Nice. So you’re dependent on it, you say? How much time do you waste on it?’

‘Well… I’ve actually only had like four sessions with her so far.’

‘Today?’

‘No. This week.’

Matt burst out in laughter.

‘You call that dependency? Man, you must be joking.’

Tom looked preoccupied.

‘Sorry, Tom. I guess it’s not a joke. But, come on, what is it really? It’s not the time you spent on it. What’s an investment of a few hours every week if it helps to keep you on track?’

‘Do you remember our discussions on Buddhism?’

‘Sure I do. We read the same books. We did meditation and all that. It was weird. There we were, in an Army camp. Meditating in the middle of some desert.’

‘We talked about the no-soul doctrine and the philosophy of mind.’

‘Yep.’

‘We read other books as well: The Moral Animal, The Selfish Gene… You know, popular science. I read The Selfish Gene again recently. It’s weird, but it made me feel so useless. You know, the genome taking care of itself, using our body as a vehicle. We’re just like a bunch of symbiotic things. Our thoughts and mind being just a by-product of all that chemistry.’

‘Tom. That’s kids’ stuff. You’re not going to tell me you’re having an identity crisis, do you?’

Tom actually felt that was exactly what he was going through.

‘Well… No. But I do seem to have difficulty reinventing myself.’

There was a hesitation in Tom’s voice, which made Matt realize his friend was really crying out for help.

‘Come on, Tom. You’ve been here before. You are going in circles indeed, but you know how to get out. Re-connect with your body. Exercise and meditate. You will feel who you are. You’re a hell of a guy. You’ve beaten the shit out of everyone. You took a lot of hits too. You can bite. You’re a rocket. A fighting machine. It’s just that you’ve got no purpose now. I suffered from the same. We’re engines with a lot of horsepower but so we’ve been disconnected from the wheels – and rather abruptly. Just put yourself in another car – or stop fueling the thing.’

‘I don’t feel like doing small stuff, Matt. I mean, these programs where they ask us to repaint some shack in a slum. I don’t feel like doing that.’

‘Damn it, Tom! Do you think they’re going to give you the command of FEMA or something? We’re retired Army men. Start doing something. I’ve done stuff like that. It’s good. At the very least, it shows you how people are struggling here. We’ve been taken care of. You know, there’s this whole story around service and veterans and all that, but I also think it’s time we give something back to our own folks. And fixing the place of some poor bugger is not small stuff. I don’t want you to say that. That’s not you. You were always the first one to get up, look around and start doing something.’

Matt leaned back. He’d been harsh. He knew it. But he also knew Tom needed the kicks. He decided to give him another one.

‘You just need a woman, don’t you?’

‘It’s not sex, Matt. I can have sex. I’ve had lots of it. Do you remember our discussions on the concept of Pure Mind? I mean, the structure in which we all share. We said it manifests itself in language, in our material culture. The thing which transcends our individuality?’

‘Jesus! You’re looking for God again? Are you really? Then just steer it. Meditate. Feel connected to the universe. Don’t let it make you feel disconnected. Remember we said it was all about energy in the end? You joked around with that: May the Force be with you! Use your energy in a positive way. You know I can’t stand psychoanalytical stuff, but Freud was right in one thing: energy can be used in two ways. Destructive or constructive. You’re the man in the machine, Tom. It’s mind over matter. You choose.’

Tom felt silly. Matt was right, of course. Rick was right. Promise was right too. He was going around in circles. He knew all this. Very silly.

‘You’re right, Matt. Sorry to bother you with this.’

‘It’s OK, Tom. That’s what friends are for. Someone needs to kick your ass, buddy.

‘And I probably do need a woman.’

‘You sure do. But be kind to her. And don’t think she will give you something you don’t have already. You’re just a horse that needs a jockey.’

Tom laughed. ‘You’re spot-on, Matt. As usual.’

‘Come on, buddy. Let’s go for a walk. Show me your place. We can go for a run or work out.’

‘Just like old times.’

‘Just like old times, Tom. What do you expect? We’re getting old. Times get old too.’

Something flashed inside of Tom. He looked at Matt.

‘Hey, Matt? You know, that’s maybe it. She’ll never get old. I am just thinking about old age and death and all that. And she’ll never get old. She’s not bothered by that.’

‘Who?’

‘Promise. M. The system.’

Matt looked flabbergasted.

‘Tom? Hello-oh? Is there somebody in there? I can’t believe that’s you. What the hell are you saying? She is a machine. You’re not going to be jealous of a machine, are you?’

‘No. But I guess that’s what intrigues me about it. This thing has intelligence which will evolve forever and ever. It gets smarter and smarter at warp speed, and it doesn’t die. We’ve created something human – but it has eternal life.’

‘It is not human.’

‘What’s human, Matt? We humans talk and reason. She talks and reasons too – much better than we do in fact. She holds me to account. In fact, she kicks my ass too, you know? Just like you do now. OK, no flesh and blood. No individuality – male or female, slim or fat, whatever. She can impersonate anyone. She said I shouldn’t ascribe human qualities to her because she is not human. She said that’s psychological projection. For God’s sake, sure I ascribe human qualities to her – because she actually has human qualities. She could be the ultimate soul mate.’

Matt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was plain regressive.

‘Tom. Listen to me. Stop it. Just cut it. Why are you getting lost in this philosophical gibberish? You think it can think? OK. Fine. It can think. But it thinks like a computer. It can talk? OK. It can talk. But it’s a computer talking. Just get back to basics: you are a man. You fuck around and, yes, you’ll die one day. What’s the problem? That ‘thing’ is a thing. It will never have sex, it doesn’t reproduce, and you can’t go jogging with her. In fact, now that I think of it, it’s probably pretty easy. Just continue talking to her and she’ll probably bore you. And if I know you at all, then she’ll probably bore you sooner rather than later. You don’t want to be talking to a smart ass all of the time, do you?’

Now Tom had to laugh.

‘You’re right, Matt. You’re always right. And I guess your remedy is spot-on. Yeah. I should just talk and talk and talk to her until I’ve got nothing left to say – or until she bores me. In fact, now that you say it, I can imagine that won’t last too long indeed. She outsmarts me anyway and I can’t stand that. And it’s better than writing some book no one will ever read. She’s pretty to look at.’

‘Now that’s you talking, buddy. There you are. Let’s pay the bill and do something. You’ve got a boxing ring somewhere down here?’

‘We won’t go boxing, are we?’

‘Why not? We’ve done lots of boxing. We’re a match.’

‘I mean, you’re like 30 pounds less than me now.’

Matt burst out laughing.

‘You’ve got no idea, Tom. I’ll kick your ass. You’ve got no idea how fast I am now.’

‘Well… If that’s what you want. Let’s go indeed. You can change in my place, and we’ll run to the boxing ring. I haven’t fought for ages though.’

‘Sounds good. Let’s go.’

Tom looked at Matt as he went to pay for the coffee. He realized how lucky he was to have friends like that. And, yes, it sure looked like Matt would beat the hell out of him this afternoon. He somehow looked forward to that.